OK I must admit I saw these videos on Tosh.0 …but the Black Betty video is just too funny and I had to share. For this to make sense you really have to watch the first video. Well, you don’t have to. Enjoy:
As most of you living in Dallas know, 4 businesses in our beloved lower Greenville were destroyed by fires early Tuesday morning. If you hadn’t heard about this tragedy that destroyed Terilli’s, Micks, Hurricane Grill, and Greenville Bar & Grill please check it out here.
This Saturday, March 6th, Broads & Panties has joined together with Jessie from 102.1 The Edge and local businesses and artists to support those affected by the lower Greenville fires. Originally, Broads & Panties Burlesque-A-Billy was to be a rockabilly burlesque show featuring the talents of local performers, including Courtney Crave as the headliner. Broads & Panties is the second production birthed from the brain of talented Dallas performer Vivienne Vermuth. Now, thanks to so many people in the community coming together, this has turned into a huge burlesque event and benefit raffle.
First, let’s talk about the show. Broads & Panties Burlesque-A-Billy is an all rockabilly burlesque revue featuring local performers such as Scarlet Switches, Zamra, Cora Coquette and Vic Handsome. Please go to the Trees Dallas website to get your tickets for this one of a kind show. There’s going to be singing, there’s going to be hot chicks taking their clothes off, there’s going to be fantastic music. And there’s going to be an awesome raffle.
After the fires on Tuesday a number of people decided that we needed to do something. 100% of the proceeds from the raffle being held at Broads & Panties are going to help those businesses affected by the fire. So the more of you who come out and buy raffle tickets, the more we have to give to those who need it! Here are some of the amazing things you can win in the raffle:
- 1 guitar autographed by all the bands of Edgefest 19 including Korn, Blue October, 311, Taking Back Sunday, Anberlin and more donated by 102.1 The Edge
- 2 $300 tattoo gift certificates for 2 hours worth of tattoo work from Hold Fast Tattoo
- 1 painted skateboard deck from Kira Leseman of Hold Fast Tattoo valued at $200
- 3 t-shirts sizes L, XL, XL from Hold Fast Tattoo valued at $20 a piece
- 1 GIANT print painted by Mike Tidwell of Hold Fast Tattoo valued at $350
- 3 $150 tattoo gift certificates from the amazing artists at Saints & Sinners, including Jason Boatman, Dru Bias, and Brian Thurow
- 3 sessions of laser tattoo removal from Allen Falkner of Fade Fast Laser Tattoo Removal with a joint cover-up tattoo session from Stephen Hibbs of Suffer City valued at $600
- concert tickets for Aaron Lewis, Coheed & Cambria, Angels & Airwaves, Alkaline Trio, A Day to Remember, and Rogue Wave
- signed 8×10 photographs of many of the performers and international pin-up models including Courtney Crave and Angela Ryan
- 4 tickets to the next kinky party held by Glory Hole Productions
- 2 VIP tickets with sponsor drinks and meet and greet with Playboy models Bella Jackson and Heather Bryant for the Extinction event at The Church on March 26th
- artwork donated by local artists including Vera Voodoo
- merchandise from local businesses including Decadent Dame Designs and Poisoned Creations and much much more!
Please come out, this Saturday March 6th for lots of burlesque and rockabilly fun and raffle with a great cause for your beloved lower Greenville!
There is actually a lot more to this dream that I can still remember but I will cut straight to the good part, yes pun intended
The palm side of my right hand was all healed up from a deep gash that had happened at some point in the past. Stitches ran upward along my palm that ended next to my pointer finger. As I remember someone, I believe it was my aunt that was visiting, was asking me if my hand was healed. While I explained to her that yes the stitches were ready to come out, I picked up a pair of EMT scissors and proceeded to hack off my left pointer finger in one quick cut.
Looking down at my hand, I suddenly realized that maybe that wasn’t such a good idea. There was absolutely no pain or blood. The nub that was still attached to my hand was clean and white on the inside. The finger, which was also blood free, did have a nice red marrow center inside the bone. While examining and assessing the damage, my first thought was, should I get this repaired? I considered asking Ron Garza for help, who in all honesty I don’t remember being in the dream, but I think he was close by. But, reattaching a finger really is beyond most body mod practitioners skill set. So, I yelled for my mom to take me to the hospital.
It’s interesting to note, that my mom was not in the dream, but I guess it’s normal to think, “Mommy!” when you are hurt and have done something stupid.
Rick Pierceall was visiting at the time, so we loaded everyone into his Dodge Challenger. I have no clue what car he drives in real life, but it in the dream that’s what he drove. I jumped into what I thought was the passenger side, but soon learned that it was a right hand drive vehicle. Strange, but whatever, I crawled to the left side, everyone else jumped in and we headed to the hospital.
While sitting in the waiting room, which was very dark for some reason, I kept explaining to everyone that I had to get the finger reattached so I could continue to flip everyone off. I remember holding up my hand to show everyone that now middle finger rather than my pointer was missing. It seems strange now that the finger switched, but in the dream it seemed to make sense.
Finally, an orderly came to get me and we headed to the back of this rather cluttered office/operating room/laser area. As he wheeled me through a maze of desks I shouted out to the doctor that yes, I did have insurance. There was no reply, but at the time I knew they were ignoring me and by saying that it would give them some encouragement to come help.
The room where I was left had an operating table, but lots of other odd devices in it as was well. One of which was a laser of some sort, nothing like I’d ever seen. My curiosity got the best of me and I started flipping switches and pushing buttons. Suddenly the laser started to fire and there were no safety goggles to be found. I shielded my eyes as best I could until I finally got the machine to turn off. Knowing a thing or two about lasers, I decided to ask someone about the main use of the equipment. The guy responded, “Laser” and left the room. Hmmm, not very helpful.
It was at this point that shock started to kick in. I remember thinking, “Wow the drugs are taking effect, but wait I wasn’t given any drugs.” I tried to lay on gurney, but my sense of balance was completely gone. My finger, which was back to my pointer, started to hurt and the Tupperware dish that held my severed finger, submerged in water with a green bay leaf was getting very difficult to hold. I would comment that the leaf made no sense, but what of this dream did?
As I proceeded to fall off the gurney I awoke disoriented with a VERY sore finger. I think it’s been about a half hour now and my hand still hurts just a bit. Wonder if it’s psychosomatic or if I was sleeping on my hand and the pain was incorporated into my dream.
Dec
10
This Week in Suspension
So much is going on in the world of suspension right now. First of all, I finally made an announcement that the Dallas Suscon will happen again in 2010. It is scheduled for April 2-4 of 2010. The event will be similar to last year, including the big Freaks and Fetish opening party that will feature some amazing acts that Dallas has never seen.
In more recent news. Emrys and Bella from Rites of Passage just appeared on the National Geographic network last weekend. The show was entitled Humanly Impossible. The segment was short, but the science they describe pretty much hits the nail on the head when it comes to the biology and brain chemistry that surrounds suspension:
Those of you that keep up with this blog know that I’ve been promoting the Hellzapoppin sideshow coming to Dallas Thursday December 17th. Presently I’ve been focusing on the Lizardman and his book that he will be selling at the show, but I wanted to make a special shout out for another Hellzapoppin performer, the World Famous Penguin Boy. This last Monday I had the honor of hanging him for his first suspension. Photos never really show the how well people suspend, but I can assure you he hung like a pro:
And speaking about someone that hangs like a champ. Holy shit! Two days ago I opened my email to find a link to this video of Neil from the Houston AGRO team. This, my friends, is in my opinion one of the most impressive suspensions to date. Trust my folks, this is definitely one of those DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME moments:
From Neil: “This would not have happened without the help of so many of my close friends. Arwen Rosa, Joe Amato, Tim Taylor, Kenny Hughes, Kieran Diedrich, Jill Coudray, Nicola Sands, Rick Pierceall, Miss Ouch, Roel Moreno, CoRE, AGRO, DHS, SMS, everyone who hung from me, and several others who I’m sure I forgot to mention. I couldn’t have done this shit without help from all of them.”
People have asked if this was the first one point resurrection. Actually the first to my knowledge was done by Alice from Constant Elevation at the 2008 Oslo Suscon photo below:
Update 09/12/11: I can’t believe I forgot about Damien who was hung by Hanged Man Suspension Team in Australia. He did a single point resurrection back in early 2009, I believe.
This next video is also Damien suspending from his forearms, doing some VERY impressive aerial flips. The clip is from a show entitled “Live Bait. ” Interesting side note, there are some old TSD button work shirts out there, circa 1998, with graphic of a doctor performing surgery holding a hook. The caption on the shirt is “Live Bait”
He may not have been the first to pull of the one point resurrection, but the tandem seen below is, I believe was a first. Yes, that’s Neil again doing a superman with 3 people hanging off him from their knees. Think that’s impressive? What you may not know is that not only was this after the one point suspension you see in the video, he also had several other people hang from him as well this day. I’m not even sure how many in total.
Man I love the suspension community …you guys never cease to amaze me!!
A old friend of mine was cleaning out his warehouse…and guess what he found, one of my old suspension rigs. It was custom built by Christian Ristow for a show I did back in 2002. (The Los Angeles Fetish Ball) If you are in the LA area and can give this contraption a good home, please drop me a line.
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On December 17th Hellzapoppin will be performing at The Church Dallas Who or what is that? Simply put it’s a touring circus side show featuring: Bryce Graves, Lady Daibla, Penguin Boy, Zamora the Torture King, and the world famous Lizardman. Why should you attend this show?
Well other than supporting some of our friends and freaks, you will also get a chance to pick up a limited edition of the The Lizardman’s book: Through the Modified Looking Glass It’s a great read and as a support for The Lizardman I will be posting random excerpts from the book. Below is a collection from the Q&A chapter of the book: |
If you were to run for president what would your policies be?
My policies would be enough to make sure I never got elected, or at least ensure my assassination. Rather than address the myriad of issues a presidential candidate must formulate policy on, I will simply put forth one I think is most important to our future and also the one least likely to happen (which is unfortunate since I consider it absolutely necessary):
The abolishment of the legal status of corporations as individuals and/or entities in terms of liability or action. I would demand that all businesses ‘have face(s) put to them’ such that there was direct and obvious culpability for any and all operations.
Who do you think would win in a fist fight between Jerry Falwell (if he was still alive) and Christopher Hitchens?
I would certainly have more points of agreement with Hitchens than with Falwell — despite being on the opposite side of the fence from him on more than a couple issues. So that may bias me in his favor but I think the real reason to pick him in this fight would be his drinking. A man with the sort of drinking experience he has professed would likely have some good bar fighting experience, so I am giving him the edge. Besides, I find people who bluster in Falwell’s fashion tend to be cowards if challenged physically. For all his fire and brimstone hate speeches against homosexuals I think Falwell would have offered to suck a dick to avoid a beating and maybe even been thankful for the excuse to do it.
What is the most bizarre assumption that someone has made about you simply because of your mods?
That might be a hard one to narrow down. How about that I am Irish or a Jets fan? Those two kind of caught me off guard at the time. I am pretty sure the people making them thought it was paint and not tattoo at the time though.
Thinking of trying to insert any other power tools into your head via your nose?
Lizard: Always, and other orifices. The thing about me going into a hardware store, or any other store, is that I am always thinking about the show. I pick up all sorts of stuff and wonder if I can balance it, or swallow it, or fit it up my nose. I wonder how it might look onstage or what else it could be used for in the show. On tour you can often find me juggling toilet plungers in dollar stores or doing impromptu demonstrations in home depot for the sales clerks.
Many of the funnier bits and more unusual objects in my repertoire come from these improv moments and demos. The fork I currently put my nose as part of my blockhead routine comes from the Orlando alehouse. It was last year at Horror Nights in Universal when one night after finishing up we went over there for a couple beers and someone asked about show. As more and more people got involved, a few of them expressed disbelief and were convinced I was putting them on. So, I took a fork off the table and worked it into my skull to prove that the blockhead is real.
What is the meaning of life? Also, all things equal (cost, upkeep, feeding, and so on), would you rather have a helper monkey, or a helper robot?
Lizard: I am not at all convinced that life has a meaning and that the question isn’t simply an artifact of the defects of language. Meaning to me is primarily representative of part of the process by which we use symbols of various sorts to represent, and not a property of things. Also, searching for a meaning to life seems to very heavily imply that life is a more like a noun than a verb and my position would be the latter rather than the former.
As to your second question, I have to go with the robot — mainly for customization of appearance and design. If I so desired I could make it a robot monkey.
I really should be heading to the gym then off to Austin for the punk show, but I wanted to share some videos, of which, the first one needs a bit of setup before viewing.
The Story: While on vacation in LaPaz Mexico at the 2005 BMEfest my friend Cere presented me with a very foolish challenge. NOT, “I can drink more that you” With his sheer size at the time, this would have been a losing battle on my part. NO the challenge was, “I bet you can’t make me puke!” Seriously? He was under the impression that I could not feed him enough alcohol as to make him vomit. LOL You know, I’m usually up for any reasonable, and some pretty unreasonable challenges, but this one was just too easy. His small glasses of scotch just kept getting bigger and bigger and his water backs, soon turning into vodka. Poor guy never knew what hit him.
Now that you have the story, thanks definitely need to go to the rest of the evil doers. Mainly of course would be Brian. He recorded the audio while driving us back to the house. Oh and one other side note, up until this point, Cere had been well known for drawing on people while they were passed out drunk, so it was only fair he got a taste of his own medicine …enjoy:
This second video I stumbled upon while surfing the net at the gym. I really don’t think this needs a setup, but I will toss in my 2 cents and give a back story. First, is this story true? Most likely, but I have a lot of trouble believing this girl Em was his “girlfriend” at least in the sense that I use the word. I have traveled quite a bit and even girls that I was just casually dating always knew where I was going. Secondly, when someone disappears, wouldn’t your first thought be, “Are they OK?” My first thought would be to make sure that nothing bad had happened to the person, but then again that’s just me.
Now that said, I will tell this story. When I was 16 years old I was hanging out with this pretty blonde girl. I would give a name but I can’t remember it. I say “hanging out” because I’m not sure if we were even dating. to the best of my knowledge if there was any physical interaction with us, it was kissing at best, but that was 24 years ago and I can’t really remember. Anyway, one night she went out with a friend of hers to the Stark Club (Very famous club from the 80’s) while I proceeded to get drunk at the Twilight Room. (Punk Club) Very long story short, my friends convinced me that she was fucking this other guy and in my stupid drunken state I not only went to the Stark Club looking for her/him. I made multiple phone calls to her house and left messages on her answering machine about how I KNEW she was fucking this guy. The irony? He was gay and she had gone home early. Surprisingly, she never wanted to speak to me again. Go figure 
And this last video? Well it needs no explanation or setup.
And this? Hello Kitty Vader is just awesome..that is all…
Normally the “things to do” blogs go in order from first to last, but this one is in reverse. Why? Because I am performing at the Torture Garden Toronto event Saturday August 29th: YEAH YEAH YEAH, I know the first question is, “I thought you retired from perfoming?” Well, yes this is true, but I do reserve the right to come out of retirement to do special shows in places like Toronto Not only do I love working with TG, I get to see all my friends in Canada AND I get to work with Samar and IWASCURED. If you are in the YYZ area please come out to the show. It should be a good time.
Sadly, the TG event is the exact same weekend at the ROP 8th Annual Campout. Man am I bummed that the events are scheduled for the exact same weekend. I’ve been dying to attend this suspension event for for YEARS, but there is always some kind of confliction. Guys, count me in next year, but PLEASE let me know WAY in advance so I can make time for it. If you are up in that part of the country and love suspension, you should check out the event. ROP is, in my opinion, one of the greatest suspension groups in the world.
Back to Big D: In Dallas that same weekend, check out Naked Girls Reading. Yes, it’s exactly what it sounds like. Courtney Crave, Michelle L’Amour, and La Divina will be in the buff, reading for your enjoyment. AND as a special note, Courtney will be reading one piece her native language of German. A naked hottie speaking Deutsch? Gotta love that German Dream Girl.
Are you a Dallasite up for a 3 hour road trip check out the SoCal punk invansion in Austin Saturday August 15 or in Houston Sunday August 16th. I cannot fucking wait for this show!!! FEAR, Agent Orange, D.I. man I haven’t seen this bands in shit…20 years or more? Yeah yeah yeah you southern Californians get see them every time the do a reunion tour, but us poor lost souls in Tejas rarely get a treat like this!
And back one more day…on August 14th Trees is reopening! What’s Trees? It was one one of the best small live music venues in Dallas…that is before Deep Ellum died. Well folks I am happy to say that it’s back and some of our locals Slow Roosevelt is back together and playing the opening night. For those of you that might remember, TSD did a show or two with SR back in the day. If you in the DFW area, come out and show your support for the guys, but more importantly for Trees and the Local Dallas Music Scene!
Aug
07
Sad Times and Hooker News
Sorry for the delays on posting a new blog. Between work, school and suspensions I’ve been pulling long hours so I’ve been slacking on this blog. Well, I have actually written two other blogs, but they were never finished and may never see the light of day…who knows.
First Current Events
Two tragic deaths this week
John Hughes 1950-2009
and
Veronica Hoffman 1979-2009
John Hughes…now unless you have been living under a rock, I’m sure you know of John Hughes and his films, or at least the ones from the 1980’s. Sixteen Candles, The Breakfast Club, Weird Science, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, just to name a few. Cinematic masterpieces? No far from it, but one of his films is very important to me. If you know me very well, you probably know that Weird Science is my all time favorite movie. (Yes, I can quote the entire movie from beginning to end) “Are you fucking serious?” Yes I am. “Why?” Well that’s a long story, that I might tell you if you buy me a drink sometime.
Veronica Hoffman…you probably don’t know her, but she was a friend of mine. Usually I’m fairly well spoken individual, but when it comes to death, especially suicide I’m often at a loss for words. So instead or trying to say the right thing, I will just post couple of photos. The first I shot of Veronica in a hotel in San Francisco a few years back and the second was shot by someone else at a party that same weekend. You can also read a short article about her on thefetishistas.com.
Me, Athena, Jody and Veronica
Veronica you will be missed!
***
…and in Suspension News
New Gilson Hooks
and
The Horsemen
Steve Haworth has recently added an amazing new feature to the Gilson Hooks. A carriage bolt with a wing nut: (Thanks to Matte for giving Steve the idea)
Oh happy day, no more tools to secure the hooks. He’s even put together a nice little direct hook/shackle/rig design that eliminates the need for a secondary rigging rope. All very good news for suspension safety.
I know many of you are looking at the above photo, reading the description and saying, “Do, Hunh, Wha?” It’s ok I will explain. In the world of suspension we have been using fishhooks for years. Yes, debarbed stainless steel fishing hooks…and the hooks have always been the weakest point. “Not the skin, doesn’t that rip?” Well, yes the skin is the one difficult variable, but contrary to what you might think, the skin is actually stronger than most hooks. Plus, hooks are open on one side. Not only are they weak, they can fall out. These new hooks take care of both issues! Interested in buying some. Well then, hop on over to Ebay and pick up a pair. BTW, this author is TOTALLY NOT RESPONSIBLE for misuse of the product. In fact, don’t hang from hooks without seeking professional help. Yes, pun intended there
And lastly, The Horsemen came out on DVD last week. Um, what can I say. If you are a producing a feature film, underground flick, TV show, over even a little youtube video and you want people hanging from hooks in it. Please just send me a message or contact one of the groups on suspension.org I know I’m just jaded, but I hate it when suspensions look so fake. As I remember the special effects guys of The Cell were paid $20,000 to do show a quick little clip of someone hanging in a rubber suit. Hello Hollywood, we will do it for less than that, and it will look real Actually, nix that last statement, you should pay us the $20,000 plus hazard pay. I kid…well kinda.
As for the movie, it was ok. The story line really didn’t seem to go anywhere and the ending was bit contrived, but overall I would say it was entertaining. On that note though, unless you are really interested in seeing every Ziyi Zhang movie, just skip it and go rent a John Hughes film…ok maybe not Beethoven’s 5th…stick to the 80’s and you’ll prolly be a happy camper.
National Lampoon’s Vacation
Cousin Vicki: I’m going steady, and I French kiss.
Audrey Griswold: So? Everybody does that.
Cousin Vicki: Yeah, but Daddy says I’m the best at it.
AF: Testing to make sure the the new database is working correctly